Reflections....

20^th November.

Two weeks today since the operation – two weeks yesterday until switch on – the mid point! I’ve been doing a lot of reading of people’s activations lately on the blogs I’ve been collating on the links page. I’m particularly drawn to the prelingually deaf ones, and most of them are not rockstar activations. Now I know this, but I think there is still a part of me that hopes that I will buck the trend. That the fact that I have exceptionally good speech, that I have good lipreading skills, that I work hard at anything I do will somehow make me different.

I’m wondering if anyone who is prelingually deaf had a rockstar activation??

This is what made the decision hard for me to get a CI. If I had been hearing all my life and then sudden deafness ? No brainer. Those that have sudden deafness must find it incredibly hard. They haven’t built up the skills that those of us born deaf have to develop. The lipreading, the prolonged concentration, the ability to cope with the fact that when in a room full of friends you can still feel alone. In that situation whatever you get is better than what you have. And you have the knowledge that you statistically are more likely to do well.

For those that are born deaf, communicate mainly orally and then have a sudden drop that is really obvious, or for some reason can no longer wear hearing aids, it’s probably a bit easier. You know you might not do as well as a former hearing person, but you know that you can’t hear anything now so surely it’s going to be a bit better?

(Obviously for everyone there is the weighing up of the risks of surgery etc – I’m talking mainly about the possible results here).

For those like me though, I can’t help but think it’s harder. I’ve been deaf since birth, though my hearing was a lot better when I was younger. I’ve never really noticed the decline in my hearing in an overt fashion. It’s more like ….. did you ever play the game “what’s the time Mr Wolf?”? One person is at the front with their back to the rest. The kids all shout what’s the time Mr Wolf? And then move toward the front but when he turns round they have to freeze so he doesn’t catch them moving. Now as I write this I am thinking I’ve missed a bit of it – I’m sure there is something to do with it being dinner time and running, but that’s not the point! The point is my hearing in some ways is like the kids, moving when my back is turned, freezing so I can’t catch it when I look.

I don’t wake up and realise I can’t hear as well anymore. Instead I just started to find it harder and harder to cope in certain situations. I stopped using the phone to people other than certain family members and friends. I always paid with way more money than it could possibly cost to avoid having to try and understand the price (and had an overflowing  purse of change as a consequence!) I hated meeting new people and trying to do small talk. I stopped going to the cinema or watching anything without subtitles. I pretty much never listened to new music as without it being something I knew well it was just noise (needless to say I get plenty of ribbing about my music listening choices – predominately late 80’s / early 90’s – when I had better hearing, lots of time and smash hits magazine printed the lyrics!!)

However in the last 12 months or so it got worse again – but it was like the above – gradually, creeping so you didn’t really know why. I stopped wanting to go to places I’d  been a lot, with people I knew. I didn’t want to go to the heritage centre socials because it was noisy, echoey and I just couldn’t follow much. I didn’t enjoy the pub because unless I latched on to one of the two or three people I knew I could understand I wouldn’t really know what was going on. If I had to go to events I’d make sure I had a phone with me. It wouldn’t have a signal, but I could be on a game or something and pretend I was busy and that was why I was sat alone not talking. I’d even be finding myself tuned out / not following at home with a couple of friends round. The background music that hearing people seem to always need was just too much, and it got so tiring constantly asking for it to be turned down, only to have it creep up again.

Yet despite this, I was shocked when it actually reflected in a hearing test and they offered me the CI. So given the above you would think it was a no brainer right? Well it wasn’t. I was still in denial at how little I was hearing I think. I’d shrunk the situations I engaged in right down to mainly being with my family and with one or two friends. Work was very safe for me as I was never expected to make any calls and there are a maximum of 3 of us in the office – both of the others I know very well.  We never watch anything that’s not subtitled so that wasn’t a problem. My music I knew so that was fine, and I avoided anything else. Within those situations I was coping. 

So. Do I stick with what I know (and bear in mind I kept thinking they had made a mistake and I shouldn’t really be able to have one – despite the test results to the contrary!) or do I gamble? There are amazing stories of how people benefit. But I’m prelingually deaf. I might get months and months of beeps and bells and overwhelming noise and frustration. I would be worse than I was with what I know. In addition I would destroy the hearing I had so there was no going back. I don’t sign and nor do my family / close friends. I live in Orkney where there are pretty much no signing people or deaf clubs or anything like that to fall back on.

To be honest, after doing some research I think the appeal of something new was the main factor – and that is a pretty rubbish reason LOL! I was tired of doing hearing aids. I’d done them for 34 years. They were never going to get any better. The stories of people using phone’s and understanding in noise were the main appeal. That’s what I would really like to get out of it.

Right now, two weeks prior to activation, my overwhelming feelings are divided into two camps. The first is a big fear that I’m going to get the beeps and noises for months on end. That Christmas is not going to be a nice family time but a nightmare of noise and not understanding anything. That the temptation to put my hearing aid in – even though it’s my rubbish ear and its only one side and it’s not as good as two hearing aids, it is at least familiar – will be overwhelming. That my family will get frustrated at me when I can’t hear or understand. That it will ruin the two kids birthday’s we have coming up and that work will get annoyed that I can’t get up to full strength quick enough.

The other half is thinking that if I just work hard it will be fine. That I can tackle this like I can any academic subject. If I put my mind to something I work hard at it and I do well. (That doesn’t apply to practical things like art, music , DIY – which is more what hearing is I suppose so that’s a bit of a flaw!) but anyway, that’s where most of my focus is right now. I can’t afford to dwell on the other half of the feelings.  It’s too late now and it will be what it will be. We will all learn to cope, we have no other choice.

I’m researching as many listening / auditory verbal training resources as I can. I’ve found programs, apps, a few worksheets and some groups that give daily rehab exercises. I’ve downloaded some audiobooks that I have paper copies of. I’m trying to research headphones / Bluetooth links etc that will improve the quality of what I hear to start with.

And that gives me focus. It gives me familiarity. It gives me a sense that I am doing something to control this wild ride, that it is not just controlling me. I’ll set up a links page with the ones that I have found when I get a chance. And as the journey evolves I’ll no doubt review some of them and let you know which work the best for me.

Phew. Apologies for that ramble! And I will say that please remember this blog is my feelings and thoughts. It’s a reflection of how I see things and it may not be factual and it may not be true. I’m not trying to make out its easy for anyone to decide to have a CI – regardless of their history – more try and get across how it was for me – in case that helps anyone else in a similar situation, as I know that’s what I look for in a CI blog.

P.S. I’d be lying if I didn’t admit there is a tiny teeny percent of me that still hopes that I will walk out of the room understanding speech – even if it sounds funny, and that by the time I go back for my first mapping a few days later I will be wowing the world with how much I can hear. That by the time I go back for my one month or three month or six month mapping I’ll be like some sort of bionic superhero that can hear through walls and save the world J

Recovery ....

17th November

So how has it been since? Thursday was actually the best day in terms of energy levels / pain rather surprisingly! Friday / Saturday / Sunday I took painkillers every 4 hours and slept most of the day.

Monday I managed to function a bit more, and stretched the painkillers to 7 hours between.

Tuesday I had no painkillers till 7pm and no nap in the day J

Wednesday I woke up with a stinking head cold. I nipped to the doctors just to have a wound check and they took my temperature to be sure it wasn’t an infection – all fine.

Thursday  & Friday still feeling a bit under the weather – but mostly from the cold I think.

Saturday I felt reasonably OK. Still have a tickly throat and runny nose, but not been sneezing as much (don’t forget to sneeze with your mouth open, otherwise I’m told it hurts!!) and no headache.

Today (Sunday) it finally stopped being gale force winds and I felt well enough to go for a walk on the beach. I didn't feel as tired afterwards so I think I am finally heading back to normal - though I've discovered the ear / cut does not like getting cold (!)

However I have had a very very relaxed week. Not been anywhere, not done anything, just napped, read books, watched CSI and been lazy. I am surprised how tired I get when I do anything and how much it has taken out of me. I think in my head I thought I would be back to normal much much quicker than this!

In terms of the implant – the cut has healed very well – hardly noticeable now. It is tucked very close to the ear which is nice as its out the way. It is itchy and the skin around it feels  odd – like its not mine or something – a bit numb.

After surgery what I was not prepared for was the bruising on my jaw. It was both sides, but mainly on the implant side. I had a massive bruise and it was sore to touch and to open my mouth wide / chew. That has pretty much gone now (day 10).

My ear was a bit numb and bruised, the bruising and tenderness has eased off but it is still hard. The other ear I can bend the top down and its soft and flexible. The implant side the top is hard and much more rigid.

My tastebuds were affected a bit – nothing too major, but sweet things taste odd and my cuppa is slightly not right – but nothing too major.

The most fascinating bit is the bump on my head where the implant is – its huge!! I didn't think it would be noticeable from the outside but it is! Some of that may be swelling I would think, so maybe it will get smaller.

I didn't have much dizziness but more a feeling of being light headed or off balance, and a feeling of pressure if I bent down. I'm careful when I get up or turn corners and am paranoid about banging my head!

The main problem is not being able to sleep on the implant side. I can’t sleep on my front or back, so I am getting a sore ear / hip / shoulder from sleeping in the same position, but I'm finally managing to sleep a bit better as I get used to it.

I didn't wash my hair after 48 hours – I wasn't that brave! I finally did it on day 6 and it was fine – and felt a lot better for being clean!!

So – what now? Well I have two weeks left till I leave for activation – yay! I’ll be back at work for those two, though if I get tired I might work at home. I've been busy searching for therapy resources to help. I've downloaded audiobooks for two paperbooks I've been saving to listen to whilst reading, I've got some word sheets and some listening apps. I’ll try and do a list to go on here when I get time and add to it with any that are useful.

I've been learning to listen with just my bad ear (which actually is not that much worse than my good I have discovered!) and keeping up with my various CI groups / forums  / email lists. I have a couple of wonderful AB mentors – Michele who has been fab, and Colin who was also implanted at my centre. I know another couple of people on facebook implanted in my centre, and Nicola in Orkney who was done there 3 years ago. And then there are my friends from school in varying stages of CI journey so I am blessed with lots of people for support.

Now its just a case of waiting until switch on – and I’ll try not to leave it so long to update you after that!!

I've decided I will publish this on a blog. Its good for me writing it, and I know how much I hunted for and devoured every CI  blog I could get. They all helped me tremendously and I’d like the chance to “pay it forward” and hope that I can help someone else.

Operation ....

16^th November.

Well. I guess I have a lot of updating to do LOL! Not sure what happened – life and craziness! Not long after the last entry I went to do my first ever powerlifting competition! I almost pulled out a few times as I was nervous about going somewhere with lots of unfamiliar people etc, but went cos I got to stay with my best buddy from school. We had very similar hearing levels at school and through life until she had some problems with her ears which meant she couldn't wear her hearing aids anymore.

She had an implant 2 years ago and is doing fantastically. She was lucky and had a rockstar activation. At the event she was interpreting for me – including a woman speaking into a microphone at the front of the room!! What a turn around and it certainly gives me hope for when I have mine switched on. I have another friend from school who had similar hearing levels. She is having her operation on the 20^th November, so we will be running parallel to some extent. She is also have AB so it will be nice to compare notes.

Anyway, I have had the operation!! We left here on Saturday and got a ferry to town for the night in order to be able to catch the 4pm flight to Edinburgh on Sunday. We arrived at our “posh hotel in Edinburgh on Sunday and had a quick swim and sauna and then went for dinner in the Indian restaurant we had been to when we stayed for my graduation J Had a lovely dinner and I ate so much all we could do was go back to the hotel and sleep !! Monday we spent the day wandering around Edinburgh. I wanted to go to a Vodafone store and get a cheap phone and a suresignal. We have no mobile signal at home on any network and I wanted to take the chance to be able to get text messages sorted. We had lunch at a chineese buffet which was nice but a little tricky as nothing was labelled so it was hard (i.e impossible!) to know what was vegetarian and what was something you would not want to eat in a month of Sundays!

We then headed out to the ocean terminal as hubby was taking the opportunity to get some glasses from vision express so I had some tea and cake while I waited. Back to the hotel and another swim and sauna (I could so do with one of those at home!) and then we wandered back out and stopped at a Greek restaurant for a yummy 5 meze platter for tea.

Tuesday we set off for Kilmarnock on the train, arriving around 12. I was due to book onto the ward at 1.30 for pre-op so we went to the accommodation and waited for a bit, then to the canteen for a dubious sandwich and then finally to the ward.

When we got there they said to come back at 3(!) so we went back to the house to wait again! At 3 we went back to the ward and they did pre-op – a very long questionnaire, blood pressure, pulse, temperature, weight and fitted for compression stockings.

I then had to go down to the cochlear implant centre where they went through a load of information leaflets for me to take away and read and did another hearing test! Despite my last one being only 2 months ago – I still kept thinking they might say “oh no, we made a mistake, no implant for you” but they didn't!! After that back to the ward to wait for the surgeon to come. He arrived and looked in my ear, drew a big arrow on the left side pointing to the ear and ran through any questions and got me to sign consent form. He told me I could wash hair after 48 hours and could start powerlifting again as soon as I felt up to it.

I’d arranged to stay in the cochlear implant house that night, so we stopped at the canteen for some chips and got some snacks for later. I was to be nil by mouth from midnight and I was the only patient for Mr Wardrop so in theatre for 9.30 a..m J

So we spent the night waiting again – we had taken some dvd's to watch so that helped pass the time. Bed around 10.30.

The next morning I had to be on the day surgery ward for 8am so I got up at 7.15 to have the shower I was supposed to have and wash my hair and then we walked over.

They were very good on the day surgery, put me in a teenager’s room so Stephen could be with me up until the time I went through, and he helped make sure I understood everything. They asked another load of question – including did I have dentures(!) and so did the anaesthetist. Finally at 9.15 it as time to go through!! I was in the lovely stockings, a gown and a dressing gown. Thankfully because I had cotton knickers rather than nylon I was allowed to keep my own instead of paper ones! I had been the toilet literally 20+ times in the 70 mins I was there – I was petrified I would need the toilet in the operation and wet myself!!

Anyway I said goodbye and we walked to the prep room off the theatre. There I took off the dressing gown, they undid the back of the gown and I got onto the comfiest bed ever! They put a blanket over me, stuck some things on for the heart monitor and the anaesthetist put the cannula in. He said “you will be asleep in 60 seconds” and injected two syringes and the next thing I knew I was on the day surgery ward!

I have a vague memory of being part awake and having my blood pressure taken and falling asleep again, but its not very clear. Stephen arrived which is what woke me up, and I was surprised to be feeling a bit more alert. I asked for the time and it was 2pm!!! I later found out the operation took around 2 hours so I had obviously been on the ward for a while but they hadn't told Stephen. It must have been an awful wait for him not knowing what was going on. He came to day surgery at 12 and someone told him I had gone to the ward, so he went all the way up the 5^th floor and they sent him back down again. There was no room on the ward so I was to be kept in day surgery overnight.

I sat up a bit, had some tea and toast and made it to the toilet and didn't feel too bad. My head felt like someone was squeezing it with tongs to lift me up, with it digging in the left side more. I had some painkillers and decided I would just keep taking them – no point being  hero! I'm a wimp with pain anyway – especially headaches!

Normally there are no visitors on the ward until 7.30 at visiting hours, they were going to ask Stephen to leave, but the ward manager (who was fantastic!) let him stay with curtains pulled across as she knew I needed him to understand what was happening. He stayed until 5 and then I sent him to have a rest and some food so I could sleep. I fell asleep easily – I kept dropping off the whole time I was in there – the anaesthetic I think. I got woke up at 6.30 to have blood pressure etc and ask what I wanted for dinner. The surgeon arrived and said it went well. He had explained before that I would be the first one he had done with the mid scala electrode, so he had arranged for someone from AB to come up for the operation to oversee. He said it went well (bar a slight problem with the insertion tool, but that was fine as they used a new one) and they got full insertion and the test showed all was working fine.  I enquired about the possibility of being discharged to the CI house overnight and he was OK with it but the ward manager was not happy because it was a long walk in the cold up a hill. She arranged for me to be moved to a side ward that was normally used for children and a reclining chair put next to the bed so Stephen could stay with me – they really were fab J

Dinner choice was mackerel salad, beef stew or macaroni cheese. As a vegetarian that has only recently started eating dairy again the mackerel salad was the only real option but I couldn't eat it when it arrived. I asked for tea and toast instead and was more than happy with that,

I had another nap and Ste woke me at 7.30. I was very pleased with how well I could lip read him with no aids – it was pretty much the same as with aids – shows how much I used the lip reading I guess!  Around 9 they moved us to the side ward and we chatted until 11 when I had more tea and toast and then the light was turned off.

I didn't sleep too well – woke every hour. The cannula gave me the most problems as the painkillers kept the head under control but the cannula meant my wrist had to be kept straight, and as it was the opposite side to the implant I was limited on both sides!

I had more painkillers through the night and was woken at 6.30 to have a wash and get dressed. She then gave me more pills and removed the bandage. I got a blurry picture snapped and she gave it a little clean. I was surprised it was being left open, not covered. I then had more tea and toast and then at 9 I went to x-ray and then we were discharged J

Got a taxi to the airport (£80 but much better than taxi / train / bus – no way could I have managed that). 

Dates ....

1st October. 

So. Been a while! Spent ages reading and creating a paper comparing different features of Cochlear and AB. It became confirmed that for my needs AB is better. I feel it has more potential to expand and upgrade. It has the most flexibility of meeting my needs as it has the widest IDR, the most electrodes (virtual) for pitch perception, and the highest stimulation rate. It also has the t-mic that I have heard VERY good things about, as well as a microphone on the headpiece and two on the ear worn bit – 4 microphones in total – some of which are omni-directional and some are fixed.

Anyway, after a stressful time chasing Crosshouse about if it would be possible to get an AB I finally got an email at 7pm last night (they must work late!) confirming an AB has been ordered (yay!) I'm pencilled in for op on 6^th November and switch on on 3^rd December (subject to anaesthetic approval) and I should plan to stay 3 – 4 days each time. I'm also fine to fly home after the operation – now that does not fill me with much fun – it’s a pain of a journey when you are 100%. Coming back I will need a taxi, a train, a walk, a bus, a plane, a taxi, a ferry – while all bandaged up and in silence – eek!

Its all much more real now and actually my overwhelming feeling is of excitement! I know that it may not work brilliantly for me. I know that I could be in pain or dizzy for quite a while afterwards. I know that I will probably hate the sounds I do get and need to do a lot of work to be able to hear again, and I know that the 4 weeks silence will drive us all to distraction. BUT, in the long run I think I need to do this.

Today I went to a coffee afternoon for Macmillan Cancer Research at the school. The kids wanted me to go as they had made stuff and I had a meeting there afterwards. There were a few people I knew there but the noise and talking was so hard that I couldn't understand anything. I was standing around feeling stupid and took myself off to engross myself in kids work on the walls and hide in the toilet until it was time for the meeting to avoid trying to talk and not understand people.

I've had enough. It never used to be this bad, and even if it only goes back to being as good as it was 5 or 10 years ago that’s a hell of a lot better than it is now. If I do nothing it will get worse. You can see the progression of loss in my audiograms. So doing nothing is not an answer.

And worse case, if it fails, then we will all have to adjust to a new reality. It will be obvious to everyone that I need to see them and that I can’t hear or understand anything, and everyone will have to make an effort to communicate, not just me. So though that will be hard and awful, its not necessarily the end of the world.

What I am finding myself doing is listening to things and storing memories. The sound of the kids squabbling (I have no idea what they say, just the tone and volume) is one thing I don’t think I’ll miss LOL!

At the meeting they were setting dates for the Christmas play and dinner and things. I found myself thinking about events in terms of “before CI” and “after CI” and wondering what if anything I will be able to understand!

Wouldn't it be nice if I was one of the lucky few with a “rockstar” activation and could hear fantastically for Christmas??  I don’t for a minute think that will be the case – with a prelingual lifelong deafness I am going to need to work hard, but still, we can dream a little can’t we??

That’s the bit that’s really weird about CI actually. The mantra is “hopes high, expectations low” – but that’s actually really hard to do in some ways. You can’t help but translate your hopes into expectations sometimes. You hear of people doing really well and a part of you deep down thinks that that will be you. I think what keeps it real for me is that I know I will hate what I hear to start with. That I will feel frustrated at not being able to understand anything, but I also think that if I work hard I will be able to get better and eventually do well. And working hard won’t be a problem for me. I have a habit of obsessing on something and doing it to death and knowing me listening therapy will be just like that.

I’m going to start eating pineapple every day in a few weeks. According to the CI list of the say what club there is anecdotal evidence that the bromelain in pineapple can help the recovery and healing process after implant. I like pineapple so seems to me like I have nothing to lose J

Roller Coaster.....

15^th September.

Not long as I should be asleep. Need to do a longer entry as soon as I get five minutes. I'm riding a roller coaster trying to decide what to do. I have my unaided audiogram and my speech test results now and I can see a big difference in the speech tests from 18 months ago. I need to map both audiograms onto one to see any difference.

I want to try and track down my historical audiograms to see how much worse my hearing has actually got over the years.

Got a letter confirming I am on the waiting list from 10^th September so by 10^th December I should be implanted – if I proceed.

Have emailed Christine to ask if any new hearing aids that might be worth a last ditch trial. I think I am in denial about how deaf I am. I am also worried about losing what sound I do have at the risk of ending up with nothing.

On the flip side it is getting worse, its not as good as I think – its masked by the close group I keep myself in. And I guess I could have a control of knowing this might be the last few months I have of sound rather than waking up one day and it gone, or losing it so gradually I don’t notice I no longer hear sound X which is what is happening at the moment.

Really quite hard to resolve. And taking over my life, my brain, my thoughts at the moment. I’ve overdosed on CI blogs and I'm struggling to find anything new at the moment.

I'm also almost 100% sure if I do proceed I need to fight for an Advanced Bionics rather than Cochlear. Will write more about that when I can.

More musings....

10th September.

I'm not sure why I am telling myself I am researching this – if I am honest I am going to give it  a shot. I love new experiences and new things and what better than a new way of hearing? I keep reading blogs and finding people who are able to sit and talk to people without lip reading. Who are more confident of talking to strangers. What’s not to like? Trying to pin down what exactly I would be getting – my implant centre is not great at providing detail – they say don’t worry, they are all the same. I don’t know if they are used to people that don’t push or don’t want to know, but having something implanted permanent in the head is a big thing – I need to know exactly which model and what it means. Fingers crossed I get an answer from them tomorrow.

In the meantime I need to spend time without hearing aids and practice understanding the kids ready for the month of silence! I hope I get a date either in November or January – preferably January I think so I have one last Christmas with my current sound. It  is scary to think I may never hear voices or sounds the same way again. I would hope that I have better speech understanding eventually, and I know I will forget how things sound now – the same as I have when I have changed hearing aids, but still.

What boxes my head is is what I am hearing now the same as what hearing people here? And if not what is more similar – hearing aids or CI? Not that it matters really I guess. The most important is speech recognition. Even if it sounds robotic and weird and music sounds strange – if I can understand more then it is worth it.

I've asked for a copy of my test results so I have them on record. It will be useful to see them and stop myself from thinking someone is going to realise they have made a mistake and tell me I can’t have one any minute!

An Introduction ....

9^th September.

Well this might one day be a blog – or it might not! There are so many CI blogs out there that I wonder if there is a benefit to another one. But then I know that as a potential CI recipient I am searching for as many blogs as I can to get an idea of what to expect. I'm not putting it up yet as I have a bad record for starting blogs all full of enthusiasm and then have them tail away to nothing!

So anyway, as you may have guessed I am considering a CI. In fact I am on the waiting list for one if I chose to proceed. I am 99% certain I will but I am trying to take some time to make certain it’s the right thing to do.

I'm a 38 yr old mum to 4 kids (all hearing) with a husband (hearing) and I live on an island in Orkney and work as a finance director. All my friends and people around me are hearing.

I was born deaf, but my hearing was a lot better when I was younger – even though I have worn hearing aids since I was 4. My speech sounds completely normal – a mixed blessing as no-one ever remembers I am deaf!

I went to an oral boarding school and never really learnt much sign. I still sign “Mary Hare” signs at times – much to the disgust of my proper deaf friends who have sensibly learnt to sign and mostly spend time in the “deaf world” through work or relationships / close friendship groups.

I was the first of my friends to get married and have kids. I've moved a lot and as such have been pretty rubbish at making get together’s and keeping in touch.  I always had some of the best hearing in our year – so I never really felt I was deaf enough when with deaf friends. Yet in the hearing world I am too deaf to fit in. Leads to a very weird sense of not belonging anywhere at times.

Because I am so used to the perception of not being that deaf I don’t think I really realised how deaf I am now. I have excellent coping skills – the audiologist commented on how hard I must be working when she saw the strategies I was using – but I’ll come back to that when I talk about the tests.

I currently wear two hearing aids. I think I get some benefit from them – certainly I can hear some environmental sounds and speech. However I am coming to realise that it is not as much as I think. I surround myself with familiar people, familiar locations, familiar music and I think it is memory of how it sounds coupled with detecting a noise rather than really hearing that I am experiencing. My lip reading skills are far better than I thought and that is what is making most of the difference. Because I almost always talk to people I know very well in mainly quiet places with lip reading I can appear to have almost effortless conversations. Until you give me someone new, or some background noise or take away the lip pattern and then the truth emerges.